“My grandmother used to say, ‘Into everyone’s life a little rain must fall – rain, assholes, and assorted bullshit.’ I’m paraphrasing. But she was right. We all get our share of tragedy or insanity or drama, but what we do with that horror is what makes all the difference.”
– Jenny Lawson
It is difficult for me not to crawl into the same dark hole every time I run into a stone wall here in Portugal. Dizzy and disoriented, it tends to take me a while before I can step back and figure out how to get to the other side. Sometimes it is easy to see that the way forward is either over or around. But sometimes it takes a while to gather my bearings and find a way forward. That is usually when I revert back to old comforts and behaviours. Cussing along the way as I berate myself for my choices, blame others and pity myself.
I’ve started the process of exchanging my South African driver’s licence for a Portuguese one in January, and despite the fact that I thought it was the one process that would be straight forward, it turned out not to be. I tend to fool proof these bureaucratic processes by getting a professional who works with this all the time to help. The document I had to get from South Africa to confirm the validity of my driver’s licence could be applied for online, but had to be picked up from their offices. I contacted the company who helped me with all my documents in 2020. They asked if the document need to be apostilled, and when I contacted the person helping me in Portugal with the process, the answer was no.
The day after I received the document via courier, I received an email stating that the licencing authority is requesting the document to be apostilled, and also wants me to prove my identity, as South African driver’s licences only contain one’s initials and not full name.
That was the point at which I started to unravel at the edges. I am not someone who like to live my life in a chaotic mess. I plan, and organise, and anticipate, and get professional help.
The weather worsened my mood. Grey and cold, with more snow falling on the Serra da Estrela than the whole of winter, and rain that came down in big drops or a misty drizzle for the first three weeks to accumulate 200 mm for the month.
I couriered the South African document back to South Africa to get it apostilled, and when I eventually managed to get through to the South African embassy in Lisbon I was met with kindness and swift support. It did mean that I had to make a trip to Lisbon to pick up the document stating my identity. I did make the best of it by visiting a favourite pastry shop in Lisbon, and spending the night in Sintra after visiting the National Palace in town, to which I haven’t been to before.
The extra documents were resubmitted and accepted, and a date scheduled to physically go to the office to submit the original documents and take photos. With my track record I am too nervous to be optimistic at this point, but it should be a mere formality before I hold my new driver’s license in my hand. At least, now that I’ve overcome the initial obstacles, a weight has been lifted, and the world, once again, looks and feels kinder.
A Special Memory or Moment of Joy:
Michael’s visits always entail a lot of work being done on the quinta (which is the case currently and the reason for publishing this late), but the first two evenings of his April visit have been what I would term perfect weather for sitting around a campfire watching the sky colour and darken, and the stars brighten with just a sliver of a moon slowly setting in the west.
Notes:
# Two days before I had to leave for Madrid to pick Michael up, I received a call from Matthias to ask if he could come around to prune the olive trees. Of course, my answer was yes, as I am always keen to get these tasks done. It did mean that the day before leaving I had to, despite other chores, including driving to Castelo Branco to pick up the couriered document, start the process of dragging the branches and cuttings to the two fire pits where I burn them for biochar. It is a chore I detest, so I am always keen to get it done as quickly as possible.
Unknown facts or quirks about Portugal:
Dealing with the bureaucracy or sometimes just life in general in Portugal is like trying to get a grip on the language, and the verbs in particular. The great thing about the various conjugations a verb takes on is that it gives you an incredible amount of information like who is doing the action (you, her, they, etc.), the level of formality between you and that person, when the action takes place (past, present, future, etc.), the level of certainty, and oh, I almost forgot, the action itself. That leaves you with more than 50 different conjugations for each verb, and depending on if it is a regular or irregular verb, many of those sound like completely different words.
Written by: Jolandi
Jolandi! I love that you are late posting because you spent two evenings wiht Michael relaxing by the fire and watching stars. That is soul-heaing. You made the correct choice.
My therapist helped me create a calendar that is intentional, and that schedules a period of “play” for every day. I determined that Wednesdays would be write-my-book day, and yesterday was the first day I did that, and the good mood buoyed me all day long. In fact, I am still happy this morning before I begin the boring work that I usually do. The world seems kinder, as you put it. What a perfect way to say it. I am pleased to share the residue of joyful activities with another person that I care about.
I almost laughed with cynicism at your documentation story. Portugal is RELENTLESS. It has been such an education for me to follow your journey. Hugs to you.
I love that you now have a day set aside as your ‘write-my-book’ day, Crystal. May it bring you immense amounts of joy.
It was good to spend some quiet, quality time with Michael, as the work was relentless. Luckily we found another couple of good evenings to light a fire, which was really special.
The next couple of months should be free from any bureaucratic process! Phew! – Jolandi
Oh, Jolandi! What a time you have been having! I understand completely that feeling you describe when things start to go wrong. The wish to hide or run away is so strong and then comes the realisation that wherever you hide or run to, the anxiety about the task that has gone wrong cannot be left behind; it’s with you until you are brave enough to face the problem head on and deal with it. I have been dealing with my late mother’s property recently; she died in October, as you may remember. The stress and anxiety as well as having to cope with the loss of a parent has made me very forgetful and careless. I have lost countless things, one of which is the case that held all my debit cards, rail card, driving licence etc. Because of that wish to hide and run away, I toyed for a while with the idea of just doing without all of those cards. Fortunately, common sense prevailed and I went through the process of cancelling them all and re-applying for each one.
I am sorry the weather has been so cold and wet recently. Just when you think spring has arrived and you start to look forward to not having to wear lots of layers to keep warm, winter comes back and makes us angry and impatient!
I don’t think I could ever learn to speak Portuguese after yourexplanation of verb conjugation. Aaagh!!
My best wishes for a better April than March!
Love, Clare
What an extra challenge to face, Clare. My stomach turned into a knot just reading your words. I’m glad common sense prevailed, and I hope that by now things have calmed down slightly for you and that you have regained some of your focus. Losing a loved one and all the practical things that come with it, can be a real challenge. It looks like Spring, the way I love it at least, will arrive this week. Sending a big hug, and wishing you good Spring weather too. – Jolandi
Whew. Always grueling and crushing, anything government. This reminds me of when I was at a pet fish store in Thailand, many years ago, and we were talking about the type of fish that sucks on the glass and basically looks like a mini Hoover. And the owner said that they call those fish ‘government’ fish and we had a good laugh at that.
I love that image, Lani, and am sure to think of it next time I need to deal with officialdom. – Jolandi
Reminds me of a poster that hung in the foyer of the customs agency where I worked in the early70s. Back in the days when you could poke fun at yourself and colleagues, even when at work:
“It’s not that we’re inefficient. It is simply that the secrecy of our jobs prevents us from knowing what we are doing”.
I have almost ticked off the arrangements for our upcoming trip. Which is just as well as we leave in two weeks. But there were times I felt it getting away from me…
By now you are either on your way, or already in the US, Gwen. Wishing you and Bill a wonderful and smooth journey. I’m looking forward to reading all about it at some point.
The words of that poster is just wonderful, and I will keep them in the back of my mind next time I have to go through a bureaucratic process. I’m sure it will lighten my mind. – Jolandi
Jolandi,
Dealing with the government is typically a nightmare, hang in there this too will pass and you will soon be holding your Portuguese driver’s license.
I too am like you in that I am a planner, very organized and detail oriented, so when the plans don’t work as I think they should, I get frustrated. Especially when the problem is someone else’s doing and the governments doing. They just seem to add extra steps that appear unnecessary.
It is always wonderful to get an update from you and see that life for the most part is going great.
Take care of yourself,
Terri
I must admit that I do love my life at the moment, Terri, and that the hiccups and challenges, although all-consuming at the time, is minor compared to the rest. I hope life is treating you well. – Jolandi
There is something to be said about the quote at the beginning of this post… 😂. There is no lack of drama in life, and I think as we get older some of it is easier to deal with (we ignore it, as it is irrelevant), while some of it becomes truly painful (our experience says this just should be happening)! I feel for you hitting brick wall after brick wall in dealing with the bureaucracy of Portugal (or anywhere around the globe). I’ve been through many such travails, and do my best to never have to deal with such again… but that is impossible, because it’s life 🙃. But it is nice when there are bright moments is dealing with such issues (a nice staff willing to offer great help… or a pastry & coffee along the way).
It is always great to read about your life in your quinta, and your irrrepressible optimism of moving forward towards making life what it is ~ an amazing adventure. Cheers to you, Jolandi, and wish you and Michael a wonderful Easter holiday.
I’ve waited a long time to use that quote, Randall. 😆 I’m sure you can relate to it with your own encounters of officialdom. I should hold my driver’s licence in my hands in roughly 3-4 months, as I’ve been told. Fingers crossed.
I must say, it is much better living a dream (even if it is messy and challenging at times), than just talking about a dream. – Jolandi
I wonder what happened to the email notifications I usually get every time you publish a new post. It looks like I didn’t get any for this post. I can’t imagine all the troubles you have to deal with for moving to another country because I have never experienced living outside of Indonesia myself. But how you describe your feeling after you overcome the initial obstacles is exactly how I feel whenever something overwhelming has been dealt with. I think it’s because both of us like to have things organized. I hope spring has been nice to you, Jolandi.
There is something wrong with the plug-in that should send out e-mails, Bama. Sorry about that. I should sit down and move the subscriber list to another one. It is again one of those examples where I feel overwhelmed and uncertain of how to do it, and instead of just doing it, have been avoiding it. Ugh. So silly really.
Spring so far has been freezing cold with many days feeling more like winter. There is still snow on the Serra da Estrela, which made the wind especially icy when it blew, but the temperatures have started to increase and we have sunny, warm weather with highs over 20C that is predicted for the next 10 days, so hopefully winter is now over and we can enjoy Spring.