“Do we have the strength within ourselves to slow down, to make the necessary changes personally, structurally, and institutionally…so the life around us can flourish?”
– Terry Tempest Williams
Michael and I, over the last couple of months, have had various discussions about what I’ve always termed as my quest for a simpler way of living. To me that meant life on a piece of land where I could grow some vegetables, breathe fresh country air, and have time to listen to birdsong. I wanted a slower pace of life, more time to reflect and do the things I enjoy.
What I’ve experienced since I moved out here in October 2020 is perhaps the polar opposite of what I’ve yearned for. As we are still working on infrastructure and various unfamiliar aspects of officialdom to settle into life here, we are dealing with an unexpected amount of bureaucracy, a neighbour that stirred up trouble, a builder who is less than honest, and processes that take longer than expected, all while taking care of the seasonal demands of the land and daily chores.
It is not a surprise then that I often feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to get done, resulting in to-do lists that grow rather than shrink, as well as the weight of responsibility or stress that many of these tasks carry. Perhaps Michael was right after all, when he told me once that if it was a simple life I wanted, we should have bought a lock-up-and-go apartment in Lisbon.
But it was not the city my soul yearned for. It was the peace and quiet of a piece of land.
I am not scared of hard work, and actually love the physical aspect of quinta life that not only makes me fitter and stronger, but allows me to spend time outside. Yet, the pace of the last three weeks with Michael here, pushed me beyond my limits and left me with a deep exhaustion.
Even so, I know that with every project completed, we are moving closer to what I previously thought of as the simple life. It will take a while to put the systems in place which should ease at least some of the demands of quinta life, and the longer I live here, the better I will understand the seasonal demands and chores of the land. Hopefully this will enable me to establish a rhythm to work with, rather than fight against. Swimming upstream takes a lot of energy to make any progress, while floating downstream is a fairly effortless way of getting to where one wants to be. But in order to float downstream I know that I need to adjust my thinking and way of how I do things.
Perhaps I will never find that simple life I’ve been searching for here on the land, but the fact that I know I am where I should be, helps me to hold on to my dream and intention of at least a different kind of life.
Portuguese Words:
vida – life
simples – simple
fácil – easy
difícil – difficult
trabalho duro – hard work
(o) sonho – dream
Written by: Jolandi
Oh dear, not quite what I was picturing when I commented on your last post. Michael’s visit and the drive to maximise his time certainly has taken it out of you by the sounds of things, but maybe now you can work at your own methodical and introspective pace, gradually ticking off your tasks until the whirlwind of his next visit. If only those pesky bureaucrats would make life easier. But if is anything like Italy, then the complexity is driven from their need to prove their indispensability, and so shore up their job security. Even those with entrenched government positions must be feeling some uncertainty in the COVID-19 job market.
Hahaha! Yip, he is relentless when he works on projects, and often pushes much too hard, although there is not really another option when time is so limited. His usual sense of urgency was at least not present this time around, and although we worked really hard, the extra layer of stress was absent, which made the work much more pleasant. I am looking forward to returning to my own methodical and introspective pace, as you put it so well, Gwen, as that is the only way I experience a sense of inner peace, while taking care of what needs to be done.
As for the bureaucracy: I think Portugal in general, at least has a more fluid approach to many official things, which makes it less rigid and cumbersome than other places. That said, there are still processes that takes time and lots of paperwork. We have met with a lovely Portuguese woman through a friend, who helps when people get stumped by this, so from now on I will know where to turn instead of trying to deal with certain things myself. – Jolandi
Of course!
The ‘a lock-up-and-stay apartment in Lisbon.’ is for when you’re too old to do it all any more! (But Lisbon property prices rising fast!)
I will take my inspiration from all the old Portuguese people still working their land, Trevor, and pray we will stay healthy enough to never have to move back to the city. Although that said, who knows what I will say in 10 years time! 🙂 – Jolandi
Much love, Jolandi. You’ve got guts and determination and a big heart. Shame on the neighbours and dishonest workers! It’s the same everywhere. 🙁 But you will win and then you will relax. <3
Thank you, Manja. And yes, like you say, it is the same everywhere. What a pity. Hope you are doing well. – Jolandi
I’m concerned you’re so exhausted. If you can take a few days to just rest and recover, please do so. (And no cheaties! No stepping outside and picking up debris or “just a little gardening,” unless you think it would be therapeutic.) I used to live in a century-old house that needed extensive work just to be livable, and discovered it was too easy to burn out on all those necessary but tiresome, frustrating, messy tasks.
(I used to complain to my husband that he actually had the fun part of building stuff, since my end of the job was to clean up afterwards. At one point our vacuum cleaner blew up while I was trying to clean up piles of drywall dust: it was kind of a statement of how I felt about the whole darn process.)
Life in the country has its challenges, but its rewards are great—once you have running water, a working indoor bathroom, and a warm, dry place to sleep. I hope you reach the rewarding part soon.
My intention for this week is to rest and recover, Hangaku. It is actually amazing how far one can push oneself before the realisation that one has completely exhausted one’s energy. I laugh at your words “no stepping outside and picking up debris or just a little gardening. . . “. It is exactly what I tend to do! I am planning to spend a bit of time in the garden, but only because it will be therapeutic, as it always has a calming effect on me. There is ‘work’ I need to do regarding the garden, but that can wait for next week. This week I will just do light tasks, which I consider fun.
I can relate to what you felt like having to do the cleaning up, when you were renovating your century-old house. There are so many tasks that are vital, but neither glamorous or noticable afterwards. What I am learning is that there is absolutely nothing that is easy or quick. At least our teeny tiny house is comfortable with all the necessary ‘luxuries’, and although there are still small projects inside that needs to get done, like tiling the backsplash in the kitchen and more tiling in the bathroom, they are cosmetic. Thank goodness for that, otherwise I would have not been able to cope. – Jolandi
Jolandi, you are brave to admit how your quest for a simpler life has been difficult. It is frustrating that some factors are also out of your control, like the nasty neighbour and dishonest builder. I’m impressed with your determination and adaptability. Hope you find some peace.
Oprah talks about the importance and power of intention, and it is often this intention of a simpler life that helps me to keep going despite the challenges. So much of life is out of our control, and although I’m getting better in how I deal with this, I do still struggle with how my thoughts can fixate on certain problems. My yoga practice has helped a lot with how I cope with the challenges of life, but ironically when my life gets chaotic and busy that always falls to the wayside. This week, at least, my intention is to slow down, rest, and spend time on self care. – Jolandi
I am so sorry you have become exhausted. It is no wonder, really, with the amount of relentless work and pressure you have been under to get everything done. Difficult neighbours and dishonest tradespeople can be found everywhere but it is disappointing that you have had problems with them so early on in your quinta life. The infrastructure is important and once that work is completed the other tasks shouldn’t be quite so difficult. The paperwork is tedious but if you have found someone to help you get through it all, that is marvellous!
All I can suggest is – are there some things on your to-do list that can be left a while until you are less exhausted? Does everything need to be done this year? Is there anything you can do without? We have lived in our home for fifteen years now. We worked hard in the first few years to complete a number of tasks but we then had a small financial setback and had to pause our work. I think it was good for us to have had this lull because we learnt more about our home and our land and most importantly, about ourselves and what we really wanted and needed. We have changed our minds about some of the things we had thought were indispensable.
I hope you soon feel better and able to carry on with your projects. Michael is right in that there is always work to be done when you have a country home with land to work on but once you get yourself into a routine and know what tasks need doing and when, life will become much simpler. Living on the land you become more aware of the seasons and the weather and it is wonderful. I wouldn’t live anywhere else.
Thank you for sharing your own experience, Clare. That carries so much weight and encouragement. I love that you say that you wouldn’t live anywhere else. Despite the hurdles there is definitely a deep sense of peace that I experience when on the land that serves as an anchor and confirmation that I should be here.
I can relate to the wisdom of getting to know the land first and living in a space for a while to better understand it, before spending too much time and money on specific projects. Michael on the other hand wants to finish as many big projects as he can, while he still has a salary. We are getting better at focusing on the most important infrastructure first, and waiting with those projects we are not sure of. But it is a challenge to find the balance.
I am grateful when I find reliable people who can help to lighten the load, as I know that I cannot do everything myself. And I’m definitely planning to select the tasks I should focus on carefully over at least the next week or two in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed, and allowing myself to rest a bit. – Jolandi
I’m sorry (but not altogether surprised) to hear you passed over the edge from fun to frustration with the work on the quinta. I know even the “fun” can be back-breaking, morale-crushing work, but for me at least, the end (or visible interim) results can compensate for that. When the projects are long-term and the people involved are not fully trustworthy, the work is a much bigger drain on the body and soul. Luckily, you are wise enough to see this and give yourself a (physical and mental) break! Moving at your own sustainable speed in the upcoming weeks will surely do you good and get you back on track to reach the simple life you crave.
Such wise words, Lex. It is true that even the fun work can be exhausting, but when done with joy, seeing results always compensate for a tired body. It is the mental drain dealing with untrustworthy people that is the most exhausting. I must admit that I only did the absolute necessary for a couple of days after Michael left on Friday. Yesterday (Wednedsday) was the first time I felt myself again, but I made a point of relaxing. This morning though, I had my mojo back and did quite a bit of outside work. The joy in my heart and the spring in my step was back. – Jolandi
Hope things will get more manageable as time goes by, Jolandi. Hang in there!
All the best,
Tanja
Thank you, Tanja. I must say that after some well deserved rest, I feel like my old self again. But without Michael here, and any specific deadlines, I’m back at my much slower pace. Also summer has arrived, so the days are hot. I fit my outside work in the early mornings or early evenings. – Jolandi
Hi Jolandi,
It may be hard because of bureaucracy but I think everywhere there is like that, if so maybe just a little less. Like you I dream of simple living in the province but maybe going back to my birth country if nothing left here anymore in NZ. So far we’re ok here as it is safe. Keep dreaming and soon you will get there!
enjoy and unwind for all the stress so far. Regards to you and the family.
Love,
Evelyn
Thanks, Evelyn. Wishing you luck with all your decisions and dreams. Stay well and safe. – Jolandi
Hey Jolandi,
It’s Mike, your neighbour. Not the one who stirred up trouble. This is a great read, and I totally agree that what you expect can be very different to what you get out here.
Anyway, let me know if you still wanted our builders details (I forgot) and I’ll drop them over.
Ps. Youre always welcome over at our quinta. Kettles always on, wine is always open 🍷❤️
Hahaha! Hey Mike. I’d love to have a conversation with you guys about how you decided to buy land here, and what you expected to find. And it’s good to know that the kettle is alway on, and the wine open. I guess I need to get my timing just right for either tea or wine. 😉 Yes, we are definitely still interested in the builder’s details, although we are not planning to do any building anytime soon. Michael will be back on 16 July for a 2 week visit, so we should try to get together then, but in the meantime, I will pop around next time I leave the quinta. – Jolandi