“Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one’s liberty.”
– Henri Frederic Amiel
The time, energy and effort it takes to learn something new can be so overwhelming or intimidating that we simply shy away from it, even when it is something we are curious about or have dreamed of doing for a long time. To learn anything new, no matter how big or small, takes us out of our carefully crafted spaces where we feel safe and confident. Stepping into any kind of newness makes us feel clumsy, vulnerable, and exposed. Social media doesn’t exactly help to bolster confidence either, as everywhere we look, people seem to be so good at what they’re doing, because of how posts get edited.
Finding myself alone on the quinta there are various things that need to get done which cannot be delegated, outsourced or avoided. I also don’t want to feel that I have to ask others for what could be seen as small tasks, and so I realised early on that I will just have to suck it up, and learn things that may never have otherwise made it on my “I wish I could learn this” list.
Both Michael and my sister were insistent that covering the windows with blinds or curtains should be at the top of our list of priorities, before my sister was due to leave at the end of October. Our mission to find blinds and curtains took us to various shops, and involved a lot of measuring and scribbling next to little diagrams in my notebook that were only legible to me. Following the advice of a friend, we eventually found the perfect blinds. Great!
Where this used to be where my role switched to that of sidekick with Michael fitting them, I suddenly found myself to be the one who would have to take on that role, with my sister as my sidekick. Power tools have never held any allure, and so I’ve never used a drilling machine before in my life. Never had any desire to do so either, but now, not only was I instructed to go fetch the big one, I had to focus all my attention on the tiny image of Michael on my phone doing his best to give me instructions in a way that won’t have me storming off in a huff, but actually get the position of the holes measured and drilled, so that the blinds would actually stay put where I wanted them to.
The first hole was a practice run in the wall in the barn, and when Michael was satisfied that I understood the principles, I was allowed to attempt the first of eight holes to put up two blinds. By this time I was both sweating and shaking more than I would like to admit, but I had no choice but to blunder my way through what felt like a clumsy attempt to get them fitted. As it turned out, I didn’t do too badly, and as a bonus I inadvertently learned a new skill by overcoming a fear of power tools. Well, maybe not all power tools, but at least a drilling machine.
The feeling of euphoria was so powerful that, when soon after, I found the perfect curtains for the sliding doors, I consulted with Michael how to use the laser level, flicked through photographs to see where the electricity cables run, and confidently unpacked the drilling machine.
Since then I’ve also built two IKEA bookcases (and some drawers) that serve as both a division and wardrobe between the kitchen/living area and our sleeping space.
The other tasks I still need to take care of in the house like finish painting the bathroom door, and grouting and painting the bit of wall closing off the space above the bathroom ceiling, pale in comparison with putting up the blinds and curtain rail. With my newfound confidence still intact, I trust that I will be able to finish those tasks in a way that leaves me satisfied with both my ability and the end result.
Portuguese words:
quinta – farm
nova/novo – new
habilidade – skill
a furadeira – drilling machine
Notes:
I loved the first episode of Brené Brown’s podcast, Unlocking us with Brené Brown, titled Brené on FFTs, as it is fitting for all the new things I’m experiencing and learning at the moment. It is worth listening to, especially if you find yourself, like me, out of sorts when confronted with something new. But learning new skills make us braver, after all, and if we stop learning and exploring, we will stop growing, and essentially stop to live.
Written by: Jolandi
Furadeira almost sounds Piedmontese (my local dialect) and I prefer it a lot more than the actual word we have, tràpan. Anyway, well done! I learned drilling holes by practicing with wood planks that needed them, but even now I’m not that confident with drywalls…
By the way the house looks great!!
Thanks, Fabrizio. It’s slowly getting there. I actually drilled into concrete/cement – not sure if it was easier or more difficult than a drywall, but next time I will definitely be less hesitant, although definitely still a bit nervous. Mostly I will just leave this stuff for Michael to deal with. At least when I can. 😉 That said, I did enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that resulted from the experience. Doing new things, and succeeding, are great for building confidence, and I definitely need some of that at the moment. I love how the Portuguese word is the same as in your local dialect, yet so different from the Italian word from it. – Jolandi
Well done.. I also use these tools out of neccesity..
Hat off to you, Lisa. You know, it makes me feel good knowing that I can do tasks like this without shaking with fear. – Jolandi
You go girl! Job well done and everything looks great. Love your glass of wine and how cozy the room looks. You are never to old to learn new skills and it gives one a great feeling of accomplishment.
Hahaha! I was wondering who would notice that glass of wine. It seems like I can only cope, or have to settle my nerves afterwards with a glass of wine, Terri. 😉 You are so right about never being too old to learn new skills. – Jolandi
Well done, Jolandi! I have never yet used a drill or any power-tools! I am extremely nervous with anything that makes a noise, needs switching on and has the potential to cause a lot of damage! My sister has been living alone for twenty years and has had to cope with power-tools etc. and is not fazed by them at all. I expect if I had to use them I would, as long as I wasn’t being watched by my husband!
I have been doing a lot of hand sewing recently and can sympathise with you and your curtain hemming!
Thanks, Clare. I was so nervous that I would make a complete mess and wreck the walls, so I can completely understand why you are nervous. And let’s face it, I would not have switched that drill on if it were not for the fact that I had no choice, so I’m quite convinced that you will also be able to cope if you have to. – Jolandi
I’ve never cared to use a drill; reminds me of the dentist. Brave woman. Press on. Show lots of pictures!!
I will do just that, Sarah. And hopefully soon I can sit back and relax, although everytime I tick one thing off the list, two more find their way on. – Jolandi
Great job! I wish I could come help you because I LOVE this kind of stuff! My daughter-in-law and I have bonded over our enjoyment of numerous home projects with our power tools, which we don’t even allow our husbands to touch. 🙂 I’m really not super accomplished (after seeing what Michael does, I might say I was a total newb), but I love measuring and drilling and pounding and assembling. The place looks so fantastic; it is really looking like a cozy and comfortable home!
I wish I could import you, Lexie. 😉 And how wonderful that you have a daughter-in-law who shares your love for home projects.
I would much rather leave the power tools to Michael, but I guess I’ve proven to myself that if needs be, I can do what needs to get done, which feels good.
The house is slowly getting more comfortable, as everything is finding its place, but there is still quite a bit that needs to be done. – Jolandi
What is the greatest gift life can give? New experiences that stretch the mind and soul ~ and I’ve you shown you are pretty adept and taking up such opportunities 🙂 Well done, although, from your photo doesn’t it seem the left side is about ⅛” higher than the right side?!? 🙂 OK, maybe I shouldn’t joke here 🙂 The other great thing about doing things yourself, is you really do end up owning your place as it is you that did it, and it does make it even more special. Cheers to your current and future successes!
Hahaha! I think you’re right – it’s definitely a tad higher, Randall. Or is that lower? Man do I have a newfound respect for people getting it just right!
I love all these new experiences – mostly! 😉
There is a lot of satisfaction as well that one can still learn new things no matter how old one is. For me, at the moment, it is immensely empowering. – Jolandi