“The housewife wears herself out marking time: she makes nothing, simply perpetuates the present … Eating, sleeping, cleaning – the years no longer rise up towards heaven, they lie spread out ahead, gray and identical. The battle against dust and dirt is never won.”
“I’d like to go home now.” I grumbled under my breath.
Michael looked up in surprise. We’ve been on the land just over a week, and the weather was perfect. Especially compared to the suffocating heat of mid-summer Abu Dhabi. The days were hot and sunny, the nights chilly. It was wonderful to practically live outside. The fresh air and birdsong left us giddy with joy. We could, with each passing day, see the difference our hands were making, despite falling exhausted into bed each night.
“I miss my washing machine. And my dishwasher. And my flushing toilet.” I wanted to throw my body in the dirt, like a two-year old, kicking and screaming, to punctuate my words. But all I did was to raise my voice slightly. “Everything that should be quick and easy takes so much more energy here. I’m tired.”
Like a good husband should, he nodded, and got up to fetch me a glass of ice cold vino verde.
“I don’t want to live in the Middle Ages! I want to live in the 21st century!”
I knew from the beginning that it would take time to create a home out of a ruin. But intellectually understanding something, and actually living it, can be two vastly different things. I also didn’t bargain on the frustration the mundane daily tasks would cause me. Exhausted from pruning and clearing part of the land, my body did not appreciate the extra energy it took to wash dishes without a sink or do laundry by hand. I had a three bucket system: one for soaking, one for washing, one for rinsing. It worked well, but it was time consuming, and physically exhausting carting buckets of water up and down.
At the end of a day, though, when I sat with a glass of wine in my hand, after taking a hot shower, and blow drying my hair, I could for a moment or two forget about the energy it took to hand wash our clothes, and allow the bucolic picture it painted, as it gently flapped in the wind, to renew my spirit.
I know it will take another couple of uncomfortable visits before we have electricity and running water in the house, while a fully functional bathroom and kitchen is still a fantasy I nurture, but with every visit, we take one tiny step closer to having a “real” house on the land. It is just something I have to remind myself over and over again.
Written by: Jolandi
July visit 2018
Value comes from the personal effort, physical or emotional, that one applies to whatever it pursues and not necessarily relates to its monetary cost.
The discomforts will likely be forgotten over time, leaving you both with the lasting joy of having built a home up from ruins on a peaceful corner of the world.
Welcome the sweat and exhaustion as they are the ones that will add real value to your dream, not to mention stories worth telling.
Good luck and God bless you both.
Alex
Ah, thank you, Alex. Such words of wisdom. We miss you, but hope that you and your family will, one day, visit us in this little peaceful corner of the world. Michael misses his Brazilian barbeques!
– Jolandi
Oh, Jolandi! I know the physical exhaustion from having to do household chores without electricity! It is an (almost) thankless task and, as S de B states in your quote, a woman’s work is never done. It will all be worth the struggle and you will appreciate your washing machine so much when it arrives! Even with the luxury of electricity and lots of white goods in my home, I still feel an enormous sense of satisfaction when I have a washing line full of clothes flapping in the breeze and a well-cleaned house to live in!
Best wishes to you and your husband!
I am with you on “a washing line full of clothes flapping in the breeze”, Clare. Throughout my travels I always gravitate towards taking pictures of clothes on a line. It somehow becomes a symbol for the ordinariness of life that connects us all, despite our cultural differences. It is also interesting to see how different cultures view drying clothes. Friends of ours, see it as follows: as an American, he thinks clothes should be dried in a dryer, but for her, as an Ethiopian, clothes are not clean, unless they’ve been dried outside. I’ve never owned a dryer, and completely agree with our Ethiopian friend. Plus a nice breeze helps with the ironing, which is never lost on me!
Michael often tells me: “Men don’t see dirt.” Although I am grateful for that, I myself cannot function in a messy, dirty house. A clean house has an enormous impact on my emotional and mental well-being. 🙂 And for that I will simply keep “perpetuating the present”, Simone says. Thank goodness our little house in Portugal is only 32 square metres!
As, always, thank you for your good wishes, and support.
– Jolandi
Ahhh. You paint a good and very palpable picture. 🙂 Step by step… The clothes look happy.
PS. I aint’ no suspected bot!! That’s what your blog told me as I tried posting this comment. 🙂
Oh, dear! Glad you managed to post your comment, Manja. Machines should never become more intelligent than humans. 😉
I think the clothes were much happier than me. 🙂 That said, we love our time on the land, every time we go, despite the hard work. Our bodies are simply not used to that amount of physical exertion. I guess it will improve only when we go and live there permanently.
– Jolandi
Hello Jolandi,
Thank you for sharing some more insight to your adventure. The quote by Simone de Beauvoir describes housework (and other seemingly “mundane” tasks) perfectly. Housework and proper housekeeping is dreary and very thank-less even using 21st-century standards, so I can imagine how much more daunting it must be without modern conveniences!
Even though our home-purchasing process was very smooth (and we didn’t have to do any “dirty work” when it comes to construction, etc), I still find myself overwhelmed by the paperwork and administrative joys that come along with it. So much respect for you and your husband!!
Best,
Takami
PS: I completely relate with you re: a clean house 🙂
Thank you, Takami. I hope you get all your paperwork sorted out soon. 🙂
– Jolandi
“But intellectually understanding something, and actually living it, can be two vastly different things.” True, reality makes the romance of a situation quickly dissipate. It also makes one appreciate the hard work and effort our forebears went through when there were no machines and no electricity to help.
Indeed, Atreyee! And that is why, despite us wanting to live closer to the land, I definitely appreciate how technology, machines, and electricity enhance our lives, so that we don’t have to spend all our time on chores.
– Jolandi